“Money cannot buy you happiness”

It’s a common phrase my Mom used to tell me, sometimes just before she left to work.

Several years later I briefly had a roommate who spend most of his income buying Jack Daniels , Remy Martin or other expensive liquor on a daily basis. After having a drink or two he would smile and slant his shoulders , and give me his two cents on the matter …

“Those who say money can’t buy happiness do not know where to shop !”

Can we really use money to buy happiness ?  Or do we use end up using it to buy our favorite misery ?

I have come to believe that money is not deterministic – like technology  , money is man-made and can be used for both happiness and misery.

Just like technology does not tell us whether to electrify the world or create an atom bomb , a dollar bill does not tell us whether to use it for our own freedom or misery.

We have a choice, we can choose to be free and happy. The problem is, we need to clearly define for ourselves as to what happiness is , and what it is not. Otherwise we risk running in circles.

So what is happiness ?

Happiness is having the freedom to spend one’s time as one chooses to.

Whether it is creating a business , running a charity , pursuing a hobby , traveling across the country , spending time with our family … we feel happy when we get to wake up in the morning and decide how to best use our time

If instead we find ourselves with no choice in the matter, we feel helpless . Sometimes we dread waking up on a Monday morning . Sometimes you can go from feeling all “Uptown Funk” on a Saturday night to full-blown “And my heart will go on and on …” by Sunday afternoon .

What truly matters is , as only Mel Gibson can put it ……”FREEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM !!”

But – and here is the problem – most often , we trade our freedom for the illusion of Wealth

“There are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.”
― Nigel Marsh

I began to notice that even though my income increased incrementally over the years, my savings rate stayed stagnant . How was it that while my earnings increased , my freedom did not ?

I found myself eating at fancier restaurants multiple times a week , paying a premium price for online courses that I did not complete , buying that ‘Java Chip’ from Starbucks which in the span of a couple years went from ‘occasional treat’ to  ‘daily ritual’

I was not in debt , but I was finding it harder and harder to clearly distinguish between Wants and Needs – living an inflated lifestyle by spending small amounts on small things that would soon roll into a large amount – and if left unchecked , ultimately cost me my freedom

One evening , sipping a Java-Chip latte in Starbucks I calculated how much I could make if I invested the money I spend on it every month into the stock market instead.

The results made me stare at that drink and ask myself if it was really worth it.

If instead of spending 4.3$ on a Java-chip latte 5 days a week, I instead invested that money on the Stock Market for a 40 year period , I would end up making a little over 200,000$ at 7% interest !

200,000$ is enough money for me for 5 years. Was the taste of this latte really worth giving up 5 years of my life for ?

I started cooking and reduced the fancy restaurants from 5 times a week to once a week , ended all unused subscriptions and online courses and switched to free books from the local library whenever I wanted to learn something a new skill , switched to making tea or coffee at home versus going for the latte at Starbucks.

I still do sometimes go for the latte , but not as often.

The goal is not to not buy anything , it is just to be aware of the impact your money choices have on your life

What actually happens when you buy ?

When you buy something you are not trading just money – you are actually trading the hours of your life that you spend to create that money.

So whatever we buy, we are not just exchanging a piece of paper , but more importantly a part of our own life.

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.

-Henry David Thoreau

It is very important for us to understand this. So when we are confused as to whether we should buy that used 200$ Iphone , we need to look at the cost of the product in terms of hours of  life that we spend to create that money.

If you make 100$ a day , ask yourself if it is worth exchanging 10 days of your life for a device that has that an exciting feature that the other device does not. If you think it does , then by all means go for it. But whatever you decide, it is important to think in terms of hours or days or months or years of life exchanged.

Ask yourself :

How many hours in a day do you work for yourself ?

How much of each dollar you earn goes into creating your financial freedom ?

How many hours a day to you work for your freedom ?

How many hours a day do you work to buy those fancy things that you do not need to impress those people you do not like ?

How many hours today is your future worth ?

How many hours this year , will you be investing towards your awesome future ?

Value Experiences , Not Things

When we look back at our lives ,we remember the experiences, not the things.

That is why, if you had to chose between spending $20,000 between buying a new car or traveling the world , it would make more sense to travel the world.

If you spend the entire year going to work day after day , one day will blend into the next and when you look back there will be very few memories to cherish. You will soon forget that initial excitement of buying a home or a new car , but you will never forget the excitement of a new experience.

That is why it is far better to spend time on meeting different people , traveling to a new place , trying new things  . The easiest way to increase the subjective length of our lives is to invest in taking bold new adventures , not in buying that selfie-stick in Amazon because “everyone else has it”.

CONCLUSION

To be extra-ordinary , we just need to stop doing the ordinary . The ordinary is going into debt , the ordinary is buying.

Do the opposite. Don’t buy , invest . And when you chose to buy , buy experiences , not things.

If people buy things and expect you to keep up with them , that is their problem , not yours. If everyone jumps off a cliff and expects you to jump , would you ?

You wouldn’t , because you are not it to create an illusion of wealth to please others, you are in it for your own Freedom.

And freedom, to you, is not about retiring in a beach and watching sand all day. Freedom is about unlimited options – mostly the option  to live your life the way you want to , to spend your time your way , to pursue the dreams you long to.