Once in a while , you read a book that completely changes your world view , your view of yourself. It’s like taking the red pill in the Matrix , knowing that you can never go back from here. It’s implications are profound. Reading “Mindset” by Carol Dweck was one such red-pill moment for me. Here is a summary of the key concept of the book.
The beliefs we have strongly affect what we want and whether we succeed in getting it. Our mindset permeates every part of our life. What you call as your “personality” actually grows out of your mindset. Much of what prevents you from growing and fulfilling your potential grows out of it as well. When you fail , do you think “I love this challenge !” , “I was hoping this could be informative!” ? This is called a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset realize that human qualities , like intellectual skills , can be cultivated. The ability to see roadblocks as part of the learning instead of a failure is key. The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you live your life. It determines the person you become and whether you accomplish the things you want in life.
The opposite of a growth mindset is called a fixed mindset. The goal is to look smart and to not do anything dumb. They approach every situation thinking : Will I succeed or fail ? Will I look smart or dumb ? Will I be praised or made fun of ? If you have a fixed mindset , you believe that you have fixed traits and that’s that.
If you have a growth mindset , you realize that your qualities and skills can be cultivated through your efforts and strategies, and with help from others. You realize that everyone can change through application and experience. You realize that your true potential is unknown , that it is impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion ,toil and training. The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it , even when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of a growth mindset.
Fixed mindset : If at first you don’t succeed , you probably don’t have the ability . If Rome wasn’t built in a day , maybe it was never meant to be. The idea is that it’s all futile anyway, so why bother ? People with a growth mindset refuse to believe that their actions do not make a difference. Thinking that your skills and abilities and how far you will go in life are carved out in stone , versus thinking that all skills and qualities can be cultivates lead to two completely different outcomes in life.
No matter what kind of person you are , you can always change substantially. Focus on improving , not on how you are being judged. What are some ways in which you would stretch yourself if you were 100% into the growth mindset ? When you enter a mindset , you enter a new world. You can pick which one to enter and it will change the outcome. Do not see the world as winners and losers , see it as ascending and descending ,as the learners and the non-learners.
Your best friend is not someone who tells you that you are perfect , but instead someone who can see your flaws and help you work on them, who challenges you to become a better person , encourages you to learn new things. If you can say “This is hard , this is fun” when faced with a challenge you have a growth mindset. It’s not about immediate perfection , it’s about confronting a challenge and stretching yourself to learn. People with a fixed mindset expect ability to just show up even before putting in the effort. Instead of saying “I can’t do that yet ” they stop at “I can’t do that”. The “yet” makes all the difference. Becoming is better than being. One’s ability cannot be measured by just one attempt. You cannot draw a graph using just one point. A single point in time does not show trends , improvement , effort or ability.
People with a fixed mindset think that if you have to put effort into something , you must not be good at it. If you were good , it would come naturally. People with a growth mindset realize that effort is what ignites the ability and turns it into accomplishment. Talented people with a fixed mindset believe that effort can reduce you. They are afraid of trying. What if you try and fail and people realize that you are not talented after all ? Without putting any effort , you always have the excuse of “I could always have been ….” But once you try you can’t say that anymore. Instead of looking back in life and saying ” I could have been” , how better would it be to say “I gave my all for the things I believed in”.
The most important thing is to realize that we all have both the fixed and the growth mindset and to catch ourselves when we slip into the fixed mindset – passing up a chance for learning , feeling labelled by a failure , getting discouraged when something requires a lot of effort. Then switch to a growth mindset – learn from failure , challenge yourself , continue the effort. We have different mindsets in different areas.
In the fixed mindset , everything is about the outcome. If you fail – then it’s been wasted. In the growth mindset , you value what you are doing no matter the outcome. You take new courses , work on important issues. Next time you feel like giving up on a challenge , picture your brain forming new connections as you meet the challenge and learn. Even when you fail , ask yourself – what can I learn from this experience and use it as a basis for growth ? What is something you always wanted to do but felt you weren’t good at ? Make a plan to begin working on it.
For the fixed mindset , both positive and negative labels and stereotypes can mess with the mind , because you are afraid it may be true and feel helpless to change it. If you have a growth mindset , you know that even if the label may be true , you can always work harder , seek help and solve the issue. A growth mindset helps you see prejudice for what it is – someone’s else’s view of you – and to confront it by developing your skills further.
Think about your hero. Do you think of this person as someone with extra-ordinary abilities who achieved things with minimal effort ? Find out the crazy effort that went into their accomplishment and your respect for them will only grow. Think of people who outdid you and realize that they may not be smarter or more talented than you. They may have used better strategies, worked through the obstacles , put in more hours. You can do it too. Create an environment around you that teaches the growth mindset!
Think of yourself as a work in progress instead of a finished product. Finished products have to defend themselves , when you are a work in progress you have to take charge. Constantly try to improve , ask what skills you want to learn and go after them. Don’t try to prove yourself , just do what you love with all your drive and enthusiasm.
Shyness is when the fear of being judges is greater than your desire to communicate.
Don’t treat others as if their traits are permanent , always believe that they are developing and be committed to their development.
Teach your children to love challenges , be intrigued by mistakes , enjoy the effort , and the love of learning new things. Don’t praise the child’s intelligence , but praise the child’s efforts and habits. Nobody wants to be judges , they want to be supported while they learn as fast as they can
Going from a fixed to growth mindset is going from “Don’t do it , don’t share your work with other , it’s not worth it , your hopes will be destroyed , protect it” to “go for it, make it happen , develop your skills , pursue your dream”
Think about : what did you learn today ? What mistake did you make that taught you something new ? What did you try hard at today ? Think about the skills you have today that you didn’t have yesterday , and be excited for all the new skills you will learn today that you do not yet have today!